Psychic Vampires

With a psychic vampire, it's very important to set boundaries with a capitol B. The trick is knowing that no matter how much energy you expend on these people, it will never be enough. There is no fixing them, there is no changing them, there is no compromise with this.

Psychic vampires feed on your empathic abilities, and they rely on the fact that you are a healer, that you are compassionate, and that it's very difficult to say no when you see someone in trouble or pain.

Here are some basic tricks that will help you set boundaries:

1) Do not try to fix them, or their situation. For example Amy comes to you and tells you that every man she's found uses her for her money then dumps her. She knows the pattern, understands it, but keeps getting caught in it. Every time she's dumped she comes crying to you for hours. If you are not there to hold her hand then you are suddenly uncaring and unfeeling in her mind. The world according to Amy, and why aren't you revolving yours around it. The best way to handle Amy is keep it brief, short, and simply be a mirror for her feelings. It would go something like this:
Amy I hear you. You have yet again gotten into another situation and you are upset. You have said (then parrot whatever she has said about the situation). I acknowledge your feelings about the matter and yes that would be upsetting. Amy the answer is in your hands. You know the pattern and only you can change it. Amy I have to go now. Thanks for calling and I have faith that you will sort this out. End of story. Get the idea?

2) Refuse to take their issues on yourself, and do not feel guilty when you set your boundaries. Remember that Amy will attempt to do whatever she can to bleed you dry. The minute you let your need to help her or fix her overwhelm you, you have created a leech that will continue to suck you dry. So if Amy starts in with, what sort of friend are you? How can you not do...(fill in the blanks), how can you not be (fill in the blanks), you have to basically put it back right in her lap. Do NOT take it on. Amy you've said how can I not do (whatever), but the real question is what is it that YOU can do? You've said how can I not be (whatever), but what other choices could you have made and how can YOU be different and do differently?

3) Limit the amount of time you have to deal with this if you absolutely MUST deal with it. Be like a duck, let their demands roll off your back. You do NOT have to fix them, and in fact an attempt to do so is like trying to fix a black hole. It just isn't going to happen because people like this get secondary gains out of being a perenial victim. They love the attention, the poor me, it's everyone else bit, and they can sit back and blame the world and never take responsibility for themselves.

4) Ground ground ground, then ground. This can be done by meditation, prayer, breathing, whatever floats your boat. Take time for you, and make sure that you are not over extending your energies.

5) Consider whether this relationship is necessary to maintain.  If it's a family member you may have to really stick to your boundaries.  Remember a psychic vampire is an emotional bully who feels entitled to suck you dry.  They will slam against every boundry and test every inch of resolve you have to find a breach they can use in order to find a hold to suck you dry again.  In some cases I've seen it become all out psychological warfare.  A psychic vampire does not like loosing control, and being a vampire is an ultimate form of control. Often they will do whatever it takes to get it back to where it was.  It will be up to you to be strong and absolutely refuse to be drawn back into that.

6) Find friends and other people who help build you up.  Read books about codependency and how to build boundaries.  Keep a checklist and question why you have this relationship, or that person in your life.  Is it for your highest good?  What can you learn from it?  Journal your thoughts, see how many of your thoughts or perceptions about a person are negative then ask...do you really want this in your life? If so at what cost to you?

Finally remember that as Lightworkers it is natural that there will be people who will want to partake of our energy.  This is like a moth to a flame, but that doesn't mean we have to let every moth into our inner circle.